Year of Yes. How to dance it out, Stand in the Sun and Be your own Person. Shonda Rhimes

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What do I love about: Year of yes?

With three hit shows on television and three children at home, Shonda Rhimes had lots of good reason to say NO when invitations arrived. Hollywood party? No. Speaking engagement? No. Media appearances? No.

And to an introvert like Shonda, who describes herself as “hugging the walls” at social events and experiencing panic attack before press interviews, there was a particular benefit saying no: Nothing new to fear.

Then came thanksgiving 2013, when Shonda’s sister Delores muttered six little words at her: you never say yes to anything.

Those six words became a wake-up call- and a challenge. Soon thereafter, Shonda began her Year of Yes project: she committed, for one year, to say Yes. There were terrifying public Yeses- Yes, she would give the commencement address at Darmouth in  front of ten thousand graduates and their families, and appear on Jimmy Kimmel Live.

There were the excruciating private Yeses- Yes, she would start taking her health seriously, and force herself to have difficult conversations about relationships and situations that were holding her back. And there were- Perhaps most difficult and meaningful of all- the Yeses that required her to explore, empower, applaud and love her truest self. Yes

Profound, impassioned and a laugh-out-loud funny, in Year of Yes Shonda Rhimes reveals how saying YES changed- and saved- her life. And inspires readers everywhere to change their own lives with one little word: YES

What do I not love about: Year of yes?

Zilch

Who should read: Year of yes?

If you are a fan of either these shows than you may want to know a bit about the brains behind the shows: Scandal, How to get away with murder, Greys Anatomy, Private practice.

Who should not read: Year of yes?

No group I can think of.

Notes from Year of yes

  • The need for change bulldozed a road down the centre of my mind- Maya Angelou.
  • If you want crappy things to stop happening to you, then stop accepting crap and demand something more- Cristina Yang, Greys Anatomy.
  • You don’t have to know. You just have to keep moving forward. You just have to keep doing something, seizing the next opportunity, staying open to trying something new. It doesn’t have to fit your vision of the perfect job or the perfect life.
  • You have to be twice as good to get half as much-Scandal.
  • The two of us are halves of one fiction and the sum of one experience.
  • You must do things you think you cannot do. Eleanor Roosevelt.
  • My kids are not my friends. They are my children. My goal is not to get them to like me. My goal is to raise citizens.
  • Whenever you see me succeeding in one area of my life, that almost certainly means that I am failing in another area of my life.
  • No one who succeeds is merely lucky.
  • When you negate someone’s compliment, you are telling them they are wrong. You are telling them they wasted their time. You are questioning their taste and judgement.
  • You have to be okay with being better than everyone else. It is not bragging, if you can back it up.
  • I strive for badassery. Men do it all the time. Take the compliment and run. They do not make themselves smaller. They do not apologize for being powerful. They do not downplay their accomplishment.
  • I realized  a very simple truth: that success, fame, having all my dreams come true would not fix  or improve me, it wasn’t an instant portion for personal growth. Having all my dreams come true only seemed to magnify whatever qualities I already possessed.
  • No matter how hard a conversation is, I know that on the other side of that difficult conversation lies peace, knowledge. An answer is delivered. Character is revealed. Truces are formed. Misunderstandings are resolved.
  • We are only on the edge of change. There is still so much work to be done.  I am going to accept this award as an encouragement and not as an accomplishment. I do not think the job is finished yet.
  • My Tribe- They do not make me braver, faster, and stronger. They tell me I already am braver, faster and stronger. They do not chase my demons and chop off their heads for me. They tell me I am capable of slaying my own demons. They do not gladiate for me. They tell me I can gladiate for myself.
  • “Don’t let what he wants eclipse what you need”. He is very dreamy”, she says. “But he is not the sun. You are” –Greys Anatomy.

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